Sunday, December 23, 2007

Your Birthday

Coppola had said he couldn’t believe something so specific could be gone

Our going-away party
coincided with your birthday this year
miles away but the same idea:
we all think we’re special
we all think we’ll be missed.
I missed you THAT night
looking at strange pictures
of you & Roland (a goddamn cat)
on a cell phone. Dork.

THAT night.

But Seattle stole another anyway –
In February I was there to mourn
the one, (maybe two)
I had made the pilgrimage
relieved of the longing
but you
in Fremont
a jumble of lost phone numbers
and flakiness
you know
we just didn’t bother
I imagine you in a small space
on a clean couch
with no dishes and a sturdy lock
plotting a future
planning that family
for real! You were searching for the feeling
that living life sucks out
you know
after all
life is never
that good.

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